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Archives for : March2006

And Then I found 5 dollars

This fella that used to work with/for me used to say that when he would be telling a story and the other party acted like it was a “had to be there” type deal… So Fred is my friend I went to school with.. and the other day he said lacy is really getting old… HA! …. small patch of silence…. And then I found 5 dollars.

He says sometimes he’ll use “and then I stabbed him” instead.. just to keep people on thier toes.. Today however.. I found 5 dollars!

I stopped at my gas station to get coffee yesterday morning and found 5 dollars lying on the floor. I had found 5 dollars earlier in my jeans pocket that I hadn’t worn in quite a while so I felt pretty cool finding 10 dollars in one day.

This morning when I stopped for coffee I pulled out the 5 and the ones I had left from the other five and thought to myself… “Watch me drop this 5 dollars after I found it on the floor…” When then led to the following thoughts…

What if I were suppossed to drop it. What some all knowing being or just fate was using me as a carrier for this 5 dollars. I was there.. I picked it up.. then the next day at the same place I drop it.. for the person whom the 5 dollars would be used more wisely than coffee .. and more needed.

What if I were suppossed to find the 5 dollars.. and then accidently drop it the next day because a single mother who was barely scraping by this week needed to buy milk for her child and the 5 dollars would do that.

What if I were suppossed to find the 5 dollars and then accidently drop it the next day because an elderly widowed woman needed 5 dollars in gas to reach her docter.

What if by chance there would be some kid who really has no parents that care and is hungry.. and 5 dollars would buy them a sandwich and maybe something to drink.

And because I pay so much attention to detail.. and made sure the 5 dollars didn’t fall out of my pocket.. because.. we all know.. a dollar is a dollar right? that the 5 dollars stayed within my pocket for safe keeping and the person who was suppossed to find it didn’t.

Some may say I’m crazy.. insane.. whathaveya… 5 dollars isn’t life or death to me. Losing 5 dollars won’t even severly inconvience me. I can survive without 5 dollars….

So I dropped it.

*loveyabye*

Yes!!!

FINALLY someone gets me…

No long discussion…

No having to give reasons why…

Just plain all out.. gets me..

I like it.. I like it a lot (in that funny voice I use when I say that)

Thanks for getting me…

*loveyabye*

l>(

Green Day
Brain Stew

I’m having trouble trying to sleep
I’m counting sheep but running out
As time ticks by
And still I try
No rest for crosstops in my mind

On my own… here we go

My eyes feel like they’re gonna bleed
Dried up and bulging out my skull
My mouth is dry
My face is numb
freaked up and spun out in my room

On my own… here we go

My mind is set on overdrive
The clock is laughing in my face
A crooked spine
My sense dulled
Passed the point of delerium

On my own… here we go

My eyes feel like they’re gonna bleed
Dried up and bulging out my skull
My mouth is dry
My face is numb
freaked up and spun out in my room

On my own… here we go

Flic It

You know those lighters you get for free when you buy a carton of cigarettes? The first time you use it you are like “aww baby.. you light so good for me. I’ve been waiting for a little flame like you. How have I survived in this world without you in it I don’t know but I’m glad to have you here now.” You carry on with your life.. you and your lighter.. You all go everywhere together. You caress the wheel and he brings you warmth. Every day making you red hot with just one touch of it’s flame.

Then one day you realize you have just lit the last fire you’ll ever light with this free carton lighter. The last cup of coffee you’ll have with your best friend. You reminice all of the good times you’ve had together. That time you went downtown and was the only one outside with a light. Or that time you had to light the kerosene heater cause the power was out so you cuddled together in the warmth and imagined images in the flickers. Or how about that time you all had a candle lit dinner together the weekend before valentines, the one you didn’t nescessarily overexert yourself cooking but planned it all out with every inch, ounce, being of your soul. That time you thought it was completely over until you asked so n so if they had your lighter and there he was tucked safely out of view… You thought it was over then… but now it’s reality… Your beloved free carton lighter has lit the last flame he’ll ever light for you… and as you purchase that carton of cigs and you see that perfect gleem underneath your reciept you toss the once perfect for you never be without you lighter into the trash and start brand new memories with a new flame.

That’s what I feel like…

Disposable…

Like I’m out of fluid and ready to be thrown in the trash for something new.
Like I’ve burned all that I can and my light has gone out. I don’t feel special like I was when I was full. I feel as if I could be replaced.

And even tho I know I’m unique. I’m irreplacable. I’m KimberlyLaine…

I’m still not the person someone else just couldn’t live without…

*loveyabye*