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Archives for : June2006

Happy Father’s Day

Throughout my life I have had several father figures that stick out in my mind this father’s day weekend. I want to remember them… thank them.. and acknowledge thier importance in my life… this is for my Dad… the one who did not lie to me when I was 5 and did not understand why he had a different last name.. but told me “Last names don’t mean anything do they? It’s the love you feel for each another” …Today I still have a different last name.. but the love is still ever present…..

Dear Dad,

You have loved me for a lifetime. You’ve never failed to be there when I needed you.. nor ever denied me… You’ve lifted me up when I was down.. and allowed me to fall.. Even today you are there for me and my child.. and have given me the most precious gift anyone could ever give to me…acknowledgement, discipline, and never ending unconditional love. Your heart has always been pure and honest.. even when I wanted to hear something else.. you’ve always told me the truth. No matter how harsh. You loved me when you didn’t have to.. when it was not expected of you.. and have always included me as one of your children. Dad.. this father’s day is all about you.. It is your day.. the day that your children will remember what a wonder part of our lives you are… I want to thank you for allowing me to be a part of that.. allowing me to call you my father.. and giving me a reason to have someone to be thankful for this weekend. You are the greatest man I know. I love you….

Your daughter…

KimberlyLaine

I need a new lead on life

Just for the record.. I’m not complaining.. I’m not whining.. I’m just thinking outloud…

I’m not satisfied with things right now.. I need a change.. I feel stagnated.. taken for granted.. and looked down upon…

I don’t feel I live up to the expectations others hold for me.. and most important what I hold for myself.

I’ve decided the only person I can depend on is myself…I’ve always been independent.. but just now realized.. why…

I don’t feel I get the approval I need from those around me.. because I’ll never live up to the perfection they think I should be. I do the best I can and somehow instead of getting comfort that I’m ok… I get critisism that I’m not good enough…

I know that the comments were not meant the way they were.. that they did not mean to make me feel incompetant… and maybe even don’t matter…

but leaving me there feeling worthless… crying.. and needing support…

shows me that I must fend for myself….

I guess I’m not as important as beer and TV.

I’m sorry… You were the only person I had to talk to.. You left me alone.. not once but always… I need someone to listen…

You don’t seem interested…

I just need something different…because the way things are now.. are not working…

*loveyabye*

Thoughts of mine

Ya know.. I have such a hard time believing in myself. I think I have to do these super powerful unhumanlike things in order to just be barely up to the level of everyone else…

In the last couple of days I’ve not really done anything superhuman.. but I was told I was super.. I was valuable… I had my feces coagulated…

It has really put me into shock.. I’m not quite sure what to think…

On one hand I’m so unbelievable proud of myself.. Someone in this world.. thinks I’m super.. valuable..

On the other hand.. I feel like a fake.. cause I haven’t really done anything that spectacular..nothing that is really of value…

I want to tell people.. how valuable someone thinks I am.. because I am so super proud of myself…but yet that would be bragging…

Even tho.. my entire life.. and even still I do not believe I’m even a double bogey… right now.. I’m super.. I’m valuable..

and I can’t share that with anyone…

KimberlysuperLaine