Unconditional on one condition

Curly brown hair.. pretty blue eyes… crinkled up nose.. memories remembered.. that are quite different from reality..You remember smiles and laughter.. I remember fear and pain…You say you were there.. I recall needing you.. your hate for me fills up your time.. with thought out plans.. on again off again… you open a door that I need to keep closed… to live.. to thrive.. to survive.. You play the game well.. but you forget.. I learned from the best.. I know how to stop you at your own game.. I’ll not roll the dice.. I don’t gamble on life.. I need to fill your spot.. but you are the only one who will fit… like a square peg in a round hole… I cry for you still… just like when life was suppossed to be innocent… Only opposite.. where I was once an adult trapped in a child’s body.. I’m now a child trapped in an adult’s body… My inner peace will never rest… My outer appearance reminds me everyday.. of you… of your pain.. of the pain you willed to me.. in my heart you are dead… in my life you must be… you may live on.. but I can’t live on with you…. or without you… I hate you for allowing me to hate you… I hate you for not allowing me to let you go.. Stop torturing me.. I’ve suffered because of you enough.. let me live Mom…

Just let me live

Comment (1)

  1. Anonymous

    You haven’t stopped rolling the dice yet.I am not into games so I am not playing.Go ahead and live..I am sure you do everything you do and say everything you say to spite me

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